Sincerest appreciations to Dr Jujubee and his Labenese gossip group for sharing some new insights. Last week witnessed the absence of the Hookah Master, the Finger and Soccer Daddy! You might wonder if there is a link! But let me tell you that you are wrong! The Hookah Master’s absence happened because of something entirely different.
The week before last, on a beautiful sunny Sunday when you were all coming to campus at 8 pm sharp like the dedicated AUMers that you are, the Hookah Master was in his office already. He was high on substances from the previous night, so he didn’t fully understand why he was summoned to the Lady D’s office so early. On his way to there he met a member of the Jujubee Gossip Group (JGG henceforth), and warned them to stay on call in case anything happens.
To his surprise he found Spiderfatty and the Man Himself sitting in Lady D’s office. At this sight he remembered! He had left behind the tube of organic lubricant gel for sensitive skin with aloe vera extract. The Man Himself was going through the Lady D’s drawers to find a dildo of appropriate institution-approved size for the preliminaries. The Hookah Master started panicking. He urgently called AbdulKader to find something in the new state-of-the-art chemistry lab. AbdulKader got excited. He finally had an opportunity to prove himself. The Hookah Master’s trusted friends were all in a commotion when they heard about the request. The Spark Plug already knew about the situation from JGG. He ran quickly to his own office to fetch some glycerin oil but then remembered that faculty members from EPP and LAD are much more likely to have such products. Therefore a call was made to arrange the required item.
Unfortunately, none could fetch the necessary items on time and the deed was witnessed and recorded by Spiderfatty along with AUM sophisticated media team. This new administrative procedure especially dedicated to faculty members in managerial positions was ratified by Mr. Narendra Majeebannerjee (aka Bow-To-This-Divine-Cow-For-No-Reason) from Facilities who was kindly asked to tattoo the Hookah Master’s behind with the short but effective, efficient and kind “AUM loves you”. Spiderfatty couldn’t stop himself form adding a voice over stating the importance of team work and dedication as the only way up the academic ladder. He didn’t forget to comment on the Hookah Master’s dedication and commitment. Before he left the office, the Master gently whispered in the Man Himself’s ear a simple request for better furniture in his office so as to enable him to perform these duties more often and to kindly grant him a week of much-needed leave.