EPP Foreva!

​Our team has recently got a message from our sexy team in EPP. Before you get interviewed, read below to make an informed decision about your future department. Neither is good. Neither is bad. They are both just out of this world…

The Daily Timetable of an EPP Instructor with the Evil Witch of the West (EWW)

7:30 am 8 am  Come to work. Quick. Lateness results in fingers cut off from your right hand. 

8 am 9:30 am Teach your class. Be scared of unannounced class visits. 

9:30 am Yalla! Unannounced visit did not happen. Inchalla next class.

10 am 10:50 am Lab class. Nobody understand nothing. Nothing gets understood by nobody. Students doin nothing. You thinking of nothing. Muffi computers. Muffi screen. Muffi unannounced class visit. Inchalla next class.

11 am Lunch with the Serbian gang. Singing patriotic songs and sharing illegal drink recipes. 

11:10 am Lunch meeting cut short by Maaashi Admin Lady. Everybody has to contribute for the exams bank. Immediately. Lateness results in two more fingers off.

2 pm Emerge from cubicle with only one eye left. The other eye is rolling under the desk. Fell out while typing exam bank questions.

3 pm 4:30 pm Section “my brother just died” thinks you deserve to hear their bad car parking space excuses. They think you can fix the problems at gate F. Room in chaos. Unannounced class visit. You did not get ready because you write test bank questions. 

5 pm Run to gate. Hope to not be called back by Maaashi Admin Lady for test bank questions.

The Daily Timetable of an EPP Instructor with Glinda the Good

8:10 am Coffee and cigarette downstairs under the cameras

9 am Slow walk to office.

9:10 am Go to class to take attendance. By this time all students are there.

9:50 Let students go. Too too much work Mister is not good for their health.

11 am You meet Glinda the good on her way to Pickyo. She tells you pink looks good on you. You know you have spent too much in EPP when you believe her.

2 pm Class with section “Mister, where is my pen?” You don’t care about the pen. Nobody cares about the pen. Muffi pen.

2:30 pm Let students go. Oh, poor. Let them go.

3 pm Glinda has called you. You call Glinda back. Glinda – “Hiiiiiii. How arrre youuu? What’s uuup?” You – “Everything is good.” Glinda – “Arrre you sure? Can I do aaaanything for youuuu? Do you want coffeeeee? Maybe a day off?”

4 pm You are bored. 

4:01 pm You decide to call a taxi. You go to Lulu. You buy pink leggings.  

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Author: Shenou

I have a job.

1 thought on “EPP Foreva!”

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