Resume – Guess Who

Let’s play a new #AUM game! The “Guess Whose Resume It Is” #AUM game:

Personal Profile 

I like fingers very much. I am a good Christian. Rosary round my neck comes off only once a year for purification ritual. That why me likes ties not. And my English not very good. Please do not attend my presentations/meetings. Very embarassing for you and for me.

Qualifications

None. Absolutely nothing. Yani, zero.

Previous Experience

  1. Something in Finance nobody understands.
  2. Tinder
  3. CFA: Collegially F****d A*****e
  4. Tinder

Current Experience

  1. Learning English. I say “hello” very well. Problem is I confuse complicated words like “prosecute” and “execute”, so this week I scared some teachers with execution. Sorry, guys!
  2. Utilizing more than one finger.

Future Plans

  1. Enforce 7:55 to 5:05 rule. Everybody in their office by 7:50. Quick check at 7:55. Everyone must sit behind desk and stare at screen. Otherwize considered late. Warning will be sent.
  2. Learn more English. Working on my R. Very difficult.

Biggest Achievement 

Invented the “No Change” policy. Also invented the phrase “What change? No change!”

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Author: Shenou

I have a job.

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