Grades Update…

Lo, and behold, AUM has approved the grades! Here is an email conversation between the chain of command regarding grades:

Faculty to Department Chair:

Dear Dr X, Attached are my grades for approval please. Thank you. Kindly,

Department Chair to Faculty:

Thanks. Will look into this.

Department Chair to the Finger:

Here are HRM grades for approval. Kindly, nicely, efficiently and effectively, thanks!

The Finger to Department Chair:

Thanks, will look into it.

The Finger to Spiderfatty:

Here are the grades for approval.

Spiderfatty to the Finger:

Thanks, will look into it.

 

An hour later…

Spiderfatty to the Finger:

Why so many Ds and Fs, and no As?

Finger (worried) to Spiderfatty:

I will get this sorted out asap!

Spiderfatty to the Finger:

Do!

The Finger to Department Chair:

Why so many Ds and Fs, and no As? Can’t you not do your job? Do I have to check everything myself? This is not acceptable.

The Finger is happy (he displayed some power) but still scared of Spiderfatty…

Department Chair to Faculty:

What is wrong with you grades? Do you want to be fired? How long have you been here? You should know better! Why so many Ds and Fs, and no As? You know we try to have a B+ average, don’t you?

Faculty to Department Chair:

Me so sorry, but this is what the students got. You approved all the assignments and exams. Anyhow, let me know how you want the grades to look like and I will fix it.

Department Chair to the Finger:

Look, this is what the faculty said. What shall we do?

The Finger sucking on his finger:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

The Finger calls Nasser, the I-do-Everything Man:

What shall we do? Please help!

Nasser:

Send me the grades. I and Khalil, the Magic Account, will fix it.

The Finger to Department Chair:

I will fix it and will call you back to tell you what to do.

 

By the time the grades reach Spiderfatty again, a massive curve has caused all Fs to become C+ and most Cs and Ds to become Bs. A few A-students are chosen among those who can spell their names and who did not forget to write them on their assignment sheets.

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Author: Shenou

I have a job.