Let’s play a new #AUM game! The “Guess Whose Resume It Is” #AUM game:
I like fingers very much. I am a good Christian. Rosary round my neck comes off only once a year for purification ritual. That why me likes ties not. And my English not very good. Please do not attend my presentations/meetings. Very embarassing for you and for me.
None. Absolutely nothing. Yani, zero.
- Something in Finance nobody understands.
- CFA: Collegially F****d A*****e
- Learning English. I say “hello” very well. Problem is I confuse complicated words like “prosecute” and “execute”, so this week I scared some teachers with execution. Sorry, guys!
- Utilizing more than one finger.
- Enforce 7:55 to 5:05 rule. Everybody in their office by 7:50. Quick check at 7:55. Everyone must sit behind desk and stare at screen. Otherwize considered late. Warning will be sent.
- Learn more English. Working on my R. Very difficult.
Invented the “No Change” policy. Also invented the phrase “What change? No change!”
Bassam Noaman, aka the Meek, aka Yes Man
No profile anywhere. One might think that I am a humble person but fact is, I am a nobody. To tell you the truth, I have no idea what I am doing at AUM or anywhere. One thing I am good at is following stuff. I am the best at this and my IQ is 5.
Very complicated stuff that I don’t get. Thankfully, I was closely followed my supervisor for a number of years till I got my PhD. That involved many embarrassing moments.
- Followed the road to school.
- Followed The Hookah Master to all the hookah places.
- Followed many other people.
- Following Spidefatty.
- Trying to look smart
- Founder and inventor of the line following activity in the robotics club.
- Helper in the most recent firing spree at the Institution.
Name: Mohaned aka Spiderfatty
Past, present and future
Chief of AUMUtasi / AUM Ministerium fur Univarsitatsicherheit. Zig heil!
- Responsible for overseeing faculty attendance
- Responsible for checking faculty time spent in klosett. Schieize!
- Responsible for firing dissidents
- Got Sabine the Fuhrer to disappear trough repeated whipping with birch rods.
- Got Florentina the Tough to get fired through repeated lashing with horsewhips.
- Got Hazel the Bully to get fired through repetitive strapping of hands and flogging.
Create a playroom at the Institution.
Get Dr Yo-Man to lend me 50 Shades of Grey.
Name: The Hookah Master
“I like hookah. Everyday. Yani, It’s good.”
Objective: To get the accreditation done. If, yani, also we can to improve the exams. This is very important, yani.
From a young age to a few years ago
Some university in Egypt
- Did accreditation
- Got other people to put my name on their publications
- Studied about my hobby the fridge
From a few years ago to present… (now, yani)
- Getting accreditation.
- Getting other people to put my name on their publications
- Smoke hookah, cigareeeet, joint, other things. Yani, I like that.
- Like some people on social media
“My best friend and follower is The Meek Yes Man. I also like the Evil Witch from EPP. She is good, yani.”
- Improve exams by adding a few extra steps in the process.
- Try to keep job. It’s good money, yani, easy life. Relaaax.
- Get The Man Himself to call me to the Lady D’s office again.