Name: The Hookah Master
“I like hookah. Everyday. Yani, It’s good.”
Objective: To get the accreditation done. If, yani, also we can to improve the exams. This is very important, yani.
From a young age to a few years ago
Some university in Egypt
- Did accreditation
- Got other people to put my name on their publications
- Studied about my hobby the fridge
From a few years ago to present… (now, yani)
- Getting accreditation.
- Getting other people to put my name on their publications
- Smoke hookah, cigareeeet, joint, other things. Yani, I like that.
- Like some people on social media
“My best friend and follower is The Meek Yes Man. I also like the Evil Witch from EPP. She is good, yani.”
- Improve exams by adding a few extra steps in the process.
- Try to keep job. It’s good money, yani, easy life. Relaaax.
- Get The Man Himself to call me to the Lady D’s office again.
“THE COLLAGE OF BUSNISS” A quote by a student…
The Finger is exclusively interested in his finger. This is his current scholarly interest. There is no other objective but the finger. If there is any time left after this priority, he will think of how to bring down the Hookah Master and his slave boy Vice Dean Yes Man. Playing it safe behind the scenes for now. Strategic objective number one remains the finger.
Dr Ah-Yo-Man’s image has recently suffered from depreciation. Soccer Daddy mentioned him very briefly in his blog. On this account, he has been mostly sitting in his office, reading his favorite book 50 Shades of Grey.
His favourite spot is the gym. He has opened his second office there. The team is worried about Dr Muscle since the publication of new research on the low levels of sexual interest in men who exercise regularly. Dr Yo Man has been trying to help but with no concrete results.
Glinda the Good
Usually in her best mood when wearing pink. This one indulges in phoniness and dress code creativity. Her most recent contribution to The Institution is a new rule for EPP. She has got inspiration from the military rule “don’t-ask-don’t-tell”. All EPP are now wearing tights 24/7, matching them with fluffy pink tops and pink underwear. Glinda’s 1-minute speeches (one sentence total) and 5-minute meetings where 3 minutes are dress code discussions have become legendary among all EPP. FYI, The Hookah Master hates her for not being a good Muslim.
Miss Bad Manners
If you want to be told off about anything, Miss Bad Manners is there for you. In her office facing the Finger, she spends her days sulking. Gossip is her primary interest. The second is the interior decoration of her office.
Also known as Doctor Handsome among the students. He had numerous fired friends but since the negativist lobby was finally dispersed in 2014, his primary goal is financing illicit alcohol deals for the rest of the business gang.
The Dark Mistress
Actively engaged in BDSM since 2013. The effects of this interest are becoming noticeable in the MBA policies.
Dr ACM Chicks Rock
What can we say? The sexy style of insturctors there is legendary. How can a man with a head like that not like ACM chicks? The cleaning personnel have been mopping his saliva from his office and on the way to ACM building. The process is known as “the giant slug has gone to ACM again”.
Our swiping team has found the perfect find. User @chachadee seems active on Tinder. Available around and about Salmiya.
Sincerest appreciations to Dr Jujubee and his Labenese gossip group for sharing some new insights. Last week witnessed the absence of the Hookah Master, the Finger and Soccer Daddy! You might wonder if there is a link! But let me tell you that you are wrong! The Hookah Master’s absence happened because of something entirely different.
The week before last, on a beautiful sunny Sunday when you were all coming to campus at 8 pm sharp like the dedicated AUMers that you are, the Hookah Master was in his office already. He was high on substances from the previous night, so he didn’t fully understand why he was summoned to the Lady D’s office so early. On his way to there he met a member of the Jujubee Gossip Group (JGG henceforth), and warned them to stay on call in case anything happens.
To his surprise he found Spiderfatty and the Man Himself sitting in Lady D’s office. At this sight he remembered! He had left behind the tube of organic lubricant gel for sensitive skin with aloe vera extract. The Man Himself was going through the Lady D’s drawers to find a dildo of appropriate institution-approved size for the preliminaries. The Hookah Master started panicking. He urgently called AbdulKader to find something in the new state-of-the-art chemistry lab. AbdulKader got excited. He finally had an opportunity to prove himself. The Hookah Master’s trusted friends were all in a commotion when they heard about the request. The Spark Plug already knew about the situation from JGG. He ran quickly to his own office to fetch some glycerin oil but then remembered that faculty members from EPP and LAD are much more likely to have such products. Therefore a call was made to arrange the required item.
Unfortunately, none could fetch the necessary items on time and the deed was witnessed and recorded by Spiderfatty along with AUM sophisticated media team. This new administrative procedure especially dedicated to faculty members in managerial positions was ratified by Mr. Narendra Majeebannerjee (aka Bow-To-This-Divine-Cow-For-No-Reason) from Facilities who was kindly asked to tattoo the Hookah Master’s behind with the short but effective, efficient and kind “AUM loves you”. Spiderfatty couldn’t stop himself form adding a voice over stating the importance of team work and dedication as the only way up the academic ladder. He didn’t forget to comment on the Hookah Master’s dedication and commitment. Before he left the office, the Master gently whispered in the Man Himself’s ear a simple request for better furniture in his office so as to enable him to perform these duties more often and to kindly grant him a week of much-needed leave.